The Ten Commandments for Tenants (or the Gospel according to Perfect Homes Property Management Services)
1.THOU SHALT COVET THE SMALL PRINT
Okay, we know a rental contract doesn’t make for the most spiritually uplifting reading but it really is a necessary evil to safeguard the interests of the parties involved. Properly acquainting yourself with the particulars of the document will shed everlasting light on what you can expect of your property manager as well as your own obligations as a tenant and which, we do solemnly swear, will be your salvation from a Noak’s Ark-load of grief and sorrow later on. Ask us anything you like about the devil in the details before you sign on the dotted line because hereafter, you as the leaseholder will be legally required to heed your “duties and liabilities” as devoutly as inscribed.
2.REMEMBER THE RENT DAY, TO KEEP IT HOLY
Blessed is he who settles his bills in full and on time. Not wishing to preach to the converted but renouncing your lawful vow to pay your monthly rent in the amount and no later than the date set in stone within the lease agreement is a cardinal sin of biblical proportions which, sure as hell, will cause unnecessary suffering for both the property owner (they have bills to pay too) and yourself (from incurring a financial penance for late payment or, if enough in arrears, banishment altogether from thy crib). Render equally unto thy utility companies their dues not least since you can Adam and Eve us when we say that electricity, water, internet and cable TV providers in Chiang Mai won’t hesitate for a second to disconnect your service in the absence of timely payment.
3.HONOUR THY TEMPLE
While it may be your home to worship for the duration of the tenancy, the house or condo and its contents are still the property of the owner so be sure to treat thy rental space as sacred and maintain it in good order. As popularly sermonised, cleanliness is indeed next to godliness!
4.THOU SHALT NOT BEAR NUISANCE AGAINST THY NEIGHBOUR
If you can’t love thy neighbour as yourself, at the very least tenants should avoid causing disturbance to those in and around the property. Not that we’d wish for you to be treading on eggshells all the time; simply to show thoughtful consideration to he who dwells by you. Excessive noise in particular is not only anti-social but, for those living in a condominium, normally a violation of building rules and regulations. Just as you wouldn’t appreciate a wickedly loud party next door the night before you’re due to deliver a keynote presentation at work or sit a final Thai language exam so be ever mindful of the ‘Golden Rule’ of not doing unto others as you wouldn’t have them do unto you.
5.THOU SHALT COMMIT TO THY OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES AS A TENANT
In remembering thy binding covenant with your property manager, by your own hands remain faithful to the small stuff inside thy residence such as changing a spent light bulb or smoke alarm battery, attending to a dripping tap, disposing of household waste religiously to prevent the unwanted attention of marauding insect and rodent pests as well as cleaning air-conditioner units no less than once every six months
6.THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER TERMS & CONDITIONS BEFORE THY LEASE AGREEMENT
Just as with the eating of fruit in the Garden of Eden, it’s commonly forbidden for tenants to sublet the rental unit, smoke indoors, keep a pet on the premises, shelter unauthorised roommates, use the house or condo as a place of business, or make any modifications or additions to the property. So if, for instance, you’d like to install home broadband, accommodate a pampered pooch or give the place a makeover and don’t care to risk forced exile from thy earthly paradise by knowingly forsaking the terms and conditions of the rental contract, ask first before acting. Though we can’t always give our blessing, better the wise man seek prior approval than ask later for forgiveness!
7.THOU SHALT NOT KILL THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION
Put it down to God moving in a mysterious way that you accidentally knocked over and damaged the flat-screen TV, or that you threw paper down the toilet without thinking and caused an almighty blockage, or that your fitted washing machine has sprung a leak and brought forth a great flood but as proclaimed in the Good Book, now is not a time to keep silence. Whether a mishap on your part or a domestic emergency, don’t hide the problem under a bushel or pray on bended knee that it will go away (it won’t and sometimes seemingly minor issues can escalate into something infinitely worse), don’t try to cover it up and don’t effect any sort of makeshift repair. Instead, just give us a call but do it straight away and, for only the truth will set you free, be honest about what’s happened. Fear not that we’ll sit in judgement or crucify you verbally; our one and only concern is to get the qualified professionals on the case and the matter resolved as quickly and efficiently as possible.
8.THOU SHALT NOT STEAL
May you not be lead into temptation to taketh away from the property that which isn’t yours otherwise you’ll be destined for eternal damnation (or else the Royal Thai Police will likely not have mercy on your soul). Besides, we keep a detailed inventory schedule of every single one of our rental units as a precaution against such a blasphemous deed.
9.THOU SHALT HOLD RIGHTEOUS THY EXODUS FROM THE PROPERTY
Leaving so soon? Whilst we understand your persuasion to be closer to that co-working space or international school, to occupy that more modern house or bigger condo unit, or to re-locate to a more authentically Thai neighbourhood, hallowed be thy who puts their house in order ahead of vacating; specifically, remove all of thy worldly possessions and, fair wear and tear excepted, return the property in the same clean, habitable state and arrangement in which it was taken, and ask not to consider thy security deposit in lieu of the last month’s rent!
10.THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THY PROPERTY MANAGER IN VAIN
Contrary to some media opinion, the average property manager isn’t an angel of darkness; we’re mortal and bleed just like you so please spare us a thought. At Perfect Homes, we haven’t grown over the last decade to become Chiang Mai’s leading and most trusted real estate team without moving mountains for our customers but, lamentably, we can’t perform miracles and, on occasion, some things are beyond even our control. Ultimately, we’re humble servants not only to our flock of tenants but our congregation of property owners to whom we also have contractual (lawful) commitments to uphold. All we ask is that you’re reasonable with your requests and realise that jai yen (‘cool heart’) is very much the societal norm here in Thailand so a calm, civil demeanour goes a very long way when engaging with your local property manager.
And, praise be, the tenant obeyed the scripture in full. And Perfect Homes Property Management Services said it was good. Rejoice, for you have earnt thy rightful place in residential heaven. Amen to that.